One’s romantic interests and dating life can end in two ways; you either find your soulmate or things don’t work out, and you fall out of love with each other. Sadly, the latter one also happens on different levels, breakups that end healthy and bring meaning to life, and those that end so bad that your heart feels like a victim of a car crash. It’s rough, hits you where it hurts the most and can cripple all your hopes and emotions.
What’s worse, many people can’t take a breakup well, and far too many succumb to these negative feelings and spiral down into even more pain, a never-ending cycle of self-doubt and inconsistency. And staying in this bad place can leave irreversible damage and affect the people around them. So, today we’ll be learning how you can get back up, find compassion amongst the negative, and discover the importance of never giving up on love.
Firstly, Don’t Beat Yourself Up
We know how much it hurts. You’re stuck thinking what you could’ve done better, convincing yourself that it was their fault, but also realizing that you had many shortcomings during your relationship. And, there’s nothing wrong with wallowing in these feelings so you can reflect and come out much stronger. What’s not okay is sulking in that state of mind for too long, so don’t beat yourself up too much and cut yourself some slack!
- It’s All in the Past Now: Look, you’re going to have to come to terms with the fact that it’s all in the past now. What’s done is done, and carrying that type of luggage with you into the future will only prevent you from being happy. So, above all else, learn to let go and be grateful for the experiences. Let the breakup be a lesson, not a burden.
- Look Forward: Bad breakups often leave both sides full of regret and their eyes looking back to what could have been. However, looking back doesn’t make progress; looking forward does. So, don’t dwell on running back to them because life doesn’t work like a rom-com film. Sure, it will hurt at first and leave you feeling bitter, but looking straight ahead is the responsible thing to do. It allows you to grow and opens up your heart.
Never Give up on Love & How Do You Get Back up?
Now that you’ve got back to your senses, it’s time we focus on working through those thoughts and emotions. We can’t guarantee that all these methods will work for you because everyone copes with negative feelings in their unique way. However, all of these methods are good places to start and find what works for you, so don’t be afraid to try them all.
#1 Disconnect From Your Socials
Ah yes, before doing anything else and letting your emotionally-crazy state do something you’ll regret, do yourself the favor of disconnecting from your socials. When your mind isn’t thinking correctly, you wouldn’t want it to have full control of all your online connections. The worst-case scenario is you’ll end up making yourself look like a fool online!. So, let’s try our best to avoid that risk and keep to ourselves for now.
- Reconnect With Yourself: Look yourself straight into the mirror, ask yourself what you want in life, reconnect with your inner self and find your passion. A bad breakup can often lead the mind astray, which is why we end up conjuring those bad thoughts like, “I’ll never fall in love again!” But, in reality, these are but byproducts of not being in a good spot. That’s your external and material self speaking, not the true you coming from within.
- Block Them: We often feed off the misconception that blocking people is bad behavior, but it’s actually healthy for your state of mind, especially if you’re going through a breakup. You don’t want to be caught up following your ex’s socials because that will only keep you stuck in negativity and prevent you from growing. So, in the meantime, block them and move on with life.
#2 Break Out The Cravings
After you disconnect from your socials, dabble in some self-care and self-love and treat yourself because you deserve it. You don’t want to be stressing about every little thing because that doesn’t do you any good. Indulge in a couple of cheat-days, go eat that dessert you’ve been wanting, and find comfort in the little things. Sure, they won’t make the pain go away forever, but those small moments of happiness can help you regain full control of your life.
- Give Yourself Some Love: Whether it’s getting a massage, binge-watching your favorite Netflix show, or maybe chowing down on some good food, please give yourself some love. Your heart’s been broken, and you don’t want the body to feel in pain too. So, go easy on yourself and do the stuff you enjoy.
- Call Up Your Friends: Your friends are probably worried sick about you, so don’t leave them hanging and call them up. Real friends will always be there to support you in your time of need and when you’re feeling down, so don’t take away that opportunity from them. Ring them up, do something fun, and get your mind away from the things that are weighing you down.
#3 Redirect The Negative Energy
Once you’ve given yourself some breathing room, now’s the time for you to slay the evil beast and redirect the negative energy that’s consuming your mind and soul. Since there’s only so much great-tasting food and drinks can do, you’ll want to put that anger and sadness into good use. And, instead of them being the reasons behind your laziness, let them be the fuel for your productivity.
- Work Your Butt Off: Whether it’s your career or hitting the gym, go work your butt off, take your mind away from the negative narrative, and focus on something that’s important to you. If you’ve wanted to get back into an active lifestyle, let those emotions be present in your resistance training. And, if the breakup has got you feeling small, go and release that energy into something that makes you feel successful.
- Get Therapy: Of course, you could also confront these negative thoughts and emotions head-on by getting therapy. Sure, it’s not the most famous choice, but it is one that works. So, don’t shy away from professional help because even one or two hours talking with someone who’ll listen and guide you with reflection can save you months of pain.
What if I Can’t Shake Off The Pain?
Undoubtedly, there will be cases when the pain is too severe for the methods mentioned above, and while they can help alleviate the pain, you’re still going to need some serious readjustment and internal transitions. The following may not be the answer, but they’re good candidates to shaking off that pain and recalibrating your mindset:
- 1.Find Your Inner Peace
When we say to find your inner peace, the answer can vary from person to person, but it all boils down to mindfulness practices and knowing what action will give you the reset button. It could be as simple as closing yourself off for the next couple of months, or it could also be moving out. We recommend trying meditation and reflecting on what inner peace means to you.
- 2. Invest In Books
Books aren’t just for stories, but they’re also a compendium of inspiration and motivation. Sure, you may not be a bookworm now, but reading a single line that resonates with you the most can flip the switch in your brain into the flow state. We recommend stocking up on motivational books and reading through them slowly because they offer excellent advice and can uplift your mood.
Don’t Close Off Your Heart
Overall, we want to emphasize that one should never give up on love and close off their heart. Things will happen, and we will have no control over them, but we can control how it affects us. So, take these methods with you and realize that there’s a light at the end of this dark tunnel.