Life is full of ups and downs. We all go through moments of enduring pain, persisting through challenges, and rising above to experience the bliss at the top. All these experiences and memories we make help give meaning to our lives and increase the fulfillment we feel every single day. And, one of the most life-changing and inspirational memories you can make is when you go out of your way to love someone. It’s an unending stream of happiness when you’re by their side, uplifting each other and thinking of the future both of you will share.
However, not all love stories come with a happy ending, and we should also understand that growth sometimes comes from growing apart with your partner and learning to let each other go. Yes, you could have spent the past year or two in utter bliss, and it almost felt like nothing could go wrong, but it did happen. We know how soul-crushing and gut-wrenching it can feel right now, and we’re in no place to say that we understand what you’re going through, but these first weeks are crucial to moving forward. So, today we’ll be learning how you can let go and experience love anew.
The First Weeks Are Always Rough
Of course, we want to reiterate that there’s no escaping the heavy burden and pain you’re feeling right now; the first weeks are always rough for everyone. So, don’t expect to feel good overnight, especially if you’ve really connected with this person and opened up your heart to them. We know it’s extremely rare to tell a single person all your worries, insecurities and still know deep in your heart that they’ll accept you, and seeing that special someone go is a pain unimaginable.
- You Can’t Think Straight: It’s only natural to have your thoughts clouded with negativity, sadness, anger, and mixed emotions you can put your finger on because all of these things you’re feeling are evidence of how deep your relationship was. Sure, we don’t expect you to understand and appreciate them at the present moment because all they’re doing is causing you pain, but we want to remind you that this is just part of the process of letting someone go.
- You Can’t Help But Blame Yourself: Another part of the process that everyone gets hung up on is blaming themselves for everything that has happened. It could be in the form of things unsaid, emotions unrevealed, how they could’ve done better, and thinking how everything would’ve turned out if you’ve decided to keep your mouth shut or opened your heart a tad bit more. We all go through strong feelings of regret because we fear that letting go of them is like losing ourselves. However, we want to remind everyone that you’re still you, even after they leave your life.
Begin With Letting Go
Now that we’ve made some progress with talking you through things, it’s time we move forward and begin with letting go. Firstly, we want to get into the right mindset because we don’t risk experiencing withdrawal and relapsing back into a state of disarray. Our goal is to transform this negative energy into something better and more positive in your life.
- Be Present In The Moment: Number one, we want you to be present at the moment and to actively feel every single emotion that’s currently bothering you. Now’s not the time to put on a tough guy act. You want to give yourself the chance to cry, scream into the pillows, and get some closure with these intense emotions because bottling them up will only lead to more pain.
- Visualize Yourself In A Better Place: Number two, we want to keep our eyes on the positive and stop redirecting our gaze to all the negatives in our current situation. You want to visualize yourself in a better place, engrave in your mind that things will get better, and eventually, you can turn those thoughts into reality. Yes, it will be quite the bumpy road at first, but over time, you’ll get the hang of it and find inner peace.
Focus On Yourself
We need to match our words with actions, so to help you get through these first few weeks, we recommend focusing on things you can control, like yourself. You see, there’s only so much we can do for the external world and all that surrounds us, so instead of nitpicking every little thing, let’s choose to be proactive in doing something that can help us work through these strong emotions.
#1 Cut Contact And Disconnect
We know how tempting it can be to call them back, send them a text message, or come right to their doorstep. However, doing all these things will only prevent you from growing and will keep you stuck in a perpetual state of pain. Nobody’s heart deserves to feel so much anguish and troubled by emotions they can’t handle, so don’t allow yourself to go through that. Start by cutting contact and disconnect.
- Don’t Lurk Around Social Media: It’s so easy to look up their names on Facebook, skim through their Instagram for new posts, or wander around their Twitter profile to find out if they’re seeing somebody new. However, we are strongly against lurking around their social media like a stalker and watching their every move. You’re much better than that, and if you find out about something you didn’t want to know, that will only give you more pain to work through.
- Spend Time To Reflect: With more time on your hands, we strongly recommend sitting down and doing some reflection. Practice some mindfulness exercise, meditate, and walk yourself through how everything led to this point. In doing so, you can unwrap things you might’ve unconsciously hid away, bad parts about the relationship you didn’t want to believe, and other important aspects of your relationship. Everything begins with understanding context, so spend your time thinking about the stuff that will help you move forward.
#2 Seek Emotional Support
Life isn’t meant to be spent alone, so don’t try to bear the burden of all this pain by yourself and seek emotional support from friends, family, loved ones, and the closest people you can trust. Sometimes, all we need is a shoulder to cry on, and someone embraces us in their arms and tells us that everything will be okay. Sure, it might be wishful reassurance and hope, but if that’s what it takes to calm us down, then there’s no harm in asking for help.
- Talk To Your Friends: Look, your friends are probably worried sick about you, and if they haven’t stormed your house yet to be by your side, they’ve probably been calling all day, and you’ve failed to notice your phone ring. Go ring them up and let your heart speak volume because friends are there to enrich your life and help you get through both good and bad times. You’ll be surprised at how willing they are to share that burden and pain with you.
- Try Counseling: Of course, we won’t deny that some pains are best left to professionals, and if your troubles have gone so bad to the point of depressive episodes, there’s no harm in counseling. An expert can sit down and help work through all your emotions together with you. It’s like giving them all the broken pieces and they’ll happily take the time to solve the puzzle.
Understand That Time Heals
Breakups are rough and the pain you feel afterward hurts even more, but don’t let this single moment in your life define your future. Understand that time heals and it’s only the first few weeks that hurt the worst. So, keep your chin up and trust in the process.