I cry because I have fear of being obese… I feel depressed… and my silent cry comes out from the depths of my chest…
I’m bad, I’m a bad person…I’m tired of lying, I’m tired of pretending to be well…but my evil is so big… I can’t stop myself… My dark future is close to me… The guilt is killing me and I can not stop to cry.. I can’t do a diet.. I feel bad and sad…
I want to disappear… Lord take me with you… Lord I don’t want be fat… Help me… Help me to lose weight… I’m desperate…
I need to be strong…I need to resist… I need to have self control…
I don’t want die, and that my family has to spend more money for a larger drawer, I don’t want that they can not carry me to church because of my weight.. I don’t want embarrass them…
Too many people told me that you have greatest plans with me… This body will prohibit me make them real???
I love praise you Lord.. but I don’t want to do it in front of the church because I can’t stand to see people nailing their eyes on my body fat and my rolls…I feel very uncomfortable… I don’t want to expose me anymore…
I ask only to be skinny Lord.. only that… so you can take me with you…

Diary entry Nº 1

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